Self-Care: “I Have to Start Somewhere”

by David Sisneros
April 03, 2012

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David Sisneros is the Program Director at the Metropolitan Homelessness Project men’s shelter, The Albuquerque Opportunity Center (AOC). He also fills several other roles at the organization. David describes his realization that he needs to take better care of himself and his journey towards self-care in a conversation with Wendy Grace Evans after her visit to the shelter.

There can be a fine line between serving others and taking care of myself. I provide all personnel supervision, job coaching, and on-site training at AOC. I directly manage all of our residents in the veterans program, and I am responsible for ensuring the safety of all residents. For us, this typically totals 75 men per night.

I focus my time on getting to know both staff and veterans. Getting to know people on an emotional level, especially people who are struggling, and who come and go, is not an easy task.

I value working diligently with the men in our program. Sometimes, they are victims of circumstance. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they have a mental health or substance use relapse. I have been in this field for a long time, and it is difficult to feel these tragedies. I can’t let them rest heavy in my heart.

I have also seen my own family struggle with both mental illness and substance use, and I have seen how we have overcome them. I have always known that I wanted to serve, and I gain a great deal from serving others.

Six months ago, I realized that this was all too much. It was clear that I was overwhelmed and was working myself to death. Working 50-hour weeks at 110 percent just to get the basics done is unhealthy.

When I first started working those hours, I felt proud that I could do that much, and do it well. But people started asking me, ‘How do you take time for yourself?’

That is when I realized that I wasn’t taking time for myself.

Initially, my wife was supportive of my pace, but then I started hearing, ‘We want to see more of you.’ We started bickering more about when I would be home. I felt resentful that she was putting pressure on me when I was out doing something for the community.

But then I remembered—she is my wife. She is my family, and she and my daughter deserve more attention.

Since realizing my need for self-care, I have started making some changes. I go hiking and camping with my family. And while I don’t yet feel I am in a place where I can take an hour for myself to go running, I am finding joy in being present at home with my wife and daughter.

I have also been a musician for a long time, and it was hurting my heart that I didn’t have time to play music anymore. So I joined the West Side Drum Circle, and now I play with some guys and bang the heck out of African drums.

I would love to take yoga. Physical exercise is a part of my life that is out of balance. When I think about self-care, I think of people spending time by themselves and taking care of themselves. I guess I am doing that now, and that’s a start. I have to start somewhere.

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My Reflections: 10 Years of Working to End Elder Homelessness

by Kathy MacDonald
March 07, 2012

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Kathy MacDonald, LICSW, is a Clinical Social Worker for Hearth in Boston, Massachusetts. Hearth’s model of service-enriched supportive housing provides elders experiencing homelessness not only with a place to live, but the services and supports to keep them housed. In this blog post, Kathy shares her reflections upon approaching 10 years of service at Hearth, considering what is at the core of the organization’s work in ending elder homelessness.

In just a few weeks, I will celebrate 10 years of working at Hearth. This has made me think a lot about the work that we do, why we do it the way that we do, and what keeps me here. Although homeless services organizations around the country serve elderly people, Hearth is the only one with a sole focus on and comprehensive approach to ending elder homelessness.

Our clients are not always easy to help. We often house people who no one else wants to house. Sometimes our clients make me laugh, and sometimes they tell me stories about their lives that break my heart. Many struggle with mental illness, intellectual disabilities, medical issues, substance abuse, or all of the above. Because of all of this, some have what one might call “behavior management issues.”

But I am constantly impressed by their strength and resilience.

At Hearth, we believe that it is not enough just to find a place for an elder experiencing homelessness to live. Many elders need additional supports in order to stay housed and to thrive. This is why our model is one of service-enriched supportive housing. Each of our six residential programs has a site director, a licensed social worker, and a registered nurse, as well as personal care homemakers and numerous paraprofessional staff.

There are so many elders we have helped over the years.

Bill* was 70 years old when he came to Hearth after living 25 years under the Massachusetts Avenue Bridge with untreated Schizophrenia. He lived there year round because he did not feel safe in the shelters. To say that it’s cold under a bridge in Boston in the winter is an understatement. At Hearth, we gave him housing and helped him turn his “junk food junkie” diet into a healthier one. We also gave him a new community of peers and friends (with whom he could often be found joking in the lobby). We made him feel safe.

Another elder, John*, struggled for years with substance abuse and mental health issues, then had several small strokes. He was often victimized on the street and suffered from terrible anxiety as a result. But the structure Hearth’s program and staff gave him has helped him to recover, and to feel secure. He now goes to Adult Day Health twice a week, and - not one to sit around in his room all day - participates in every activity we offer, including Bingo, Art Therapy, and Wii Bowling.

In April, Hearth will open a seventh site that will house 59 elders experiencing homelessness. It will expand our capacity by 40 percent and offer the same service-enriched housing environment as our other sites.

And as both Hearth and I turn a new corner, I think about what has kept me here. It’s knowing that the work my colleagues and I do every day matters. It’s knowing that from the Board of Directors down, people here truly care about the elders, and we care about each other, too. And it’s knowing that our programs translate into fewer elderly folks who are cold, hungry, alone, without the care they need, or sleeping under bridges every night.

*Not their real names. Their names have been changed to protect their privacy.

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Addressing Youth Homelessness in the Suburbs

by Jenny Lock
February 07, 2012

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Jenny Lock, Program Manager for the Suburban Host Home Program of Avenues for Homeless Youth in Minnesota, shares her reflections on this a new program serving youth experiencing homelessness in the suburbs. The program is modeled after the GLBT Host Home Program. In her own words, Jenny shares her experiences serving youth experiencing homelessness.

I spent the last three years doing direct service work at a drop-in center for youth experiencing homelessness in downtown Minneapolis. I had the opportunity to learn the administrative side of the work. This combination prepared me for my current work.

The Suburban Host Home Action Council is a group comprised of people who work at three agencies serving youth: Teens Alone; Points Northwest; and Oasis for Youth. They joined together with concerned community members to address a problem that was not visible to many: youth experiencing homelessness in the suburbs. It had an organic beginning. People talked about their concerns. There were plans to build a shelter in Hennepin County, but they realized it was not feasible. Then they came to us to talk about the Host Home model.

The focus for the Suburban Host Home Program, is youth experiencing homelessness between the ages of 16 and 21. The program is small and targets youth experiencing homelessness with a specific geographical area where services are limited, and awareness has been non-existent: the suburbs.

Youth homelessness in Minnesota is increasing everywhere and has increased dramatically in the last three years. In addition, there are very limited services in suburban areas, so the idea is to have the services exist within the Suburban Host Home Program.

Currently, we have four host homes that have completed extensive interviews and trainings. We have one youth matched in a host home, another ready to match soon, and a third youth ready to match early in 2012.

Many of the youth who are finding their way to the Suburban Host Home Program return to their families. We see chaos and families that cannot provide care for the young people who end living on the streets as a consequence. We work closely with case managers who work with the youth. The case managers understand deeply what the youth have been through.

All our host home families have clear and realistic expectations around bringing a young person in need into their homes. They know it is not always going to be smooth sailing. I do one to two check-in calls per month to see how things are going. Once a month I do home visits.

Typically, the length of stay is 6 to 18 months. Most are seniors in high school. Another really interesting thing that has happened is that we have been able to educate people about the existence of youth homelessness in the suburban areas. Often people in the suburbs don’t think of youth poverty as their problem. My personal hope is that many of our youth who have hopes for education past high school can be partners and we can support their aspirations.

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“We Are All In This Together”: Highlights from the HRC Regional Training in Los Angeles

by Wendy Grace Evans
August 30, 2011

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Continuing the cross country training tour, SAMHSA’s Homelessness Resource Center training team just returned from a well-attended Regional Training in Los Angeles, California. This year’s regional training series will conclude with the last training in Roanoke, West Virginia, on August 23-24, 2011.

The training was held at The Center for Healthy Living, a beautiful architecturally green space, with both indoor and outdoor space, and rock and water gardens, all funded by The California Endowment. Over 200 participants came from as far away as Alaska and as close as LA’s Skid Row.

I was able to catch up with Rene Buchanan, a Volunteer Coordinator from OPCC’s Daybreak, who shared her reflections on presenting as part of the HRC workshop, “Moving Forward Together: People in Recovery as Colleagues.” Rene shares:

I was incredibly honored when SAMHSA’s HRC made me an integral part of the training. The full presentation was empowering for me. My experience working with the HRC training team has shown me that they are such an amazing group of people and so special to interact with.

I have often shared my story to benefit the agency where I work and where I had received services, but to share my story in a training capacity, where I am teaching, was something else for me. It was validating. My inclusion was a moment of validation. I walked away feeling more conviction for what I truly believe in.

I can continue to do these kinds of trainings. People seem to understand consumer integration in theory, but in practice, people have concerns and doubts. People have to see it happen and how people who come in for services can really help others. Those preconceived notions of who consumers really are creates a power differential that is hard to overcome. It will take a dramatically different way of thinking.

For instance, meeting musician Nathaniel Ayers and seeing the relationship between him and Steve Lopez, author of The Soloist, is part of this dramatically different thinking. When Nathaniel started playing the cello and he started to speak about Mr. Lopez, it made me cry. They are proof positive of one person helping another for fun and for free. I know it started as an article, but it became so much more than that, and today they have something that is based on mutual respect and admiration.

It is always a highlight for me to meet other people from other parts of the US who are doing the same things as I do at the agency where I work. The only way that we are going to make a dent in this problem is if we realize that we are all in this together. We need to share the things that do work and come together as a team. I am leaving this training with a fire beneath me and I feel that I have more conviction around the things I believe in. The people at the training themselves inspired me. I was fortunate to be in a room of such amazing strength and wonderful energy.

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Category: HRC Insight

“The Kids Are Listening:” LGBTQ Youth in Foster Care

by Zachary Kohn
August 22, 2011

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“Homosexuality is a bigger threat to this country than terrorism.” This is the attention grabbing and heartbreaking first line to The Kids Are Listening video campaign. It is exactly this type of alarmist and discriminatory rhetoric that the campaign is attempting to counter. Launched in April by the American Bar Association on Children and the Law, the campaign is attempting to raise awareness for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered and questioning (LGBTQ) youth in America’s foster system.

The focus of the campaign is to ensure that LGBTQ youth in the foster care system receive equal protection and rights as youth who identify as straight. This can be achieved by training social services providers to defend LGBTQ youth and be sensitive to the messages youth hear everyday. It is important to protect these children, and The Kids are Listening campaign is stepping up to help.

LGBTQ youth in America face entrenched discrimination, and those who are in foster care encounter even greater obstacles. One in ten youth in the foster care system identify as LGBTQ, and close to 78 percent of these youth experience harassment and abuse in their placement home (1) (2). LGBT youth are also are more likely than their heterosexual peers to run away from foster care (3). The Kids are Listening campaign is attempting to raise awareness about the victimization these young people face every day.

The video introducing the campaign shows four different young people wearing headphones as anti-gay audio clips are played over music. As the music builds and the clips begin to pile on top of each other, adults approach these youth and pull the headphones out. At this point, the video explains, “Our kids are listening. It’s up to us to make sure they hear the right message.” It is a powerful video that asks adults to step up and let the youth of our nation know that there is nothing wrong or immoral about identifying as LGBTQ.

The Kids are Listening Task Force has already written a Bill of Rights for LGBTQ youth living in group homes and several other resource guides for professionals working with foster children. They work to spread their message that everyone deserves respect, regardless of sexual preference.

To join The Kids are Listening task force or to see the video, visit the website or check them out on Twitter and Facebook.

SAMHSA’s Homelessness Resource Center (HRC) is committed to improving the lives of all people experiencing homeless, including youth who identify as LGBT. As a result, the HRC conducted an Expert Panel and Listening Tour of model programs serving LGBT youth. From these activities, key findings on implementing best practices for serving LGBT youth who are homeless were distilled.

In August 2011, SAMHSA’s HRC, in partnership with the Runaway and Homeless Youth Training and Technical Assistance Center and others, will be disseminating these best practices and strategies at four targeting trainings, in New York, NY, Chicago, IL, Santa Fe, NM, and Miami, FL.

To access more resources, visit Serving LGBTQI2-S Youth on the HRC website, or email Laura Winn.

References

(1) Freundlich, M. & Avery, R.J. (2004). Gay and lesbian youth in foster care: Meeting their placement and service needs. Journal of Gay & Lesbian Social Services, 17(4), 39-57.

(2) Feinstein, R., Greenblatt, A., Hass, L., Kohn, S., & Rana, J. (2001). Justice for All? A Report on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Youth in the New York Juvenile Justice System. New York, New York: Urban Justice System.

(3) Sullivan, C., Sommer, S., & Moff, J. (2001). Youth in the Margins: A Report on the Unmet Needs of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Adolescents in Foster Care. New York, New York: Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund.

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Category: HRC Insight

Father Paul Schroeder: What Do You Do Well?

by Wendy Grace Evans
August 09, 2011

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Father Paul Schroeder of The Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church is the Founder of The New City Initiative in Portland, a project of JOIN. Father Paul asks congregations this question. What do you do well? The query stands at the core of an initiative that pairs formerly homeless individuals with the faith community. In a conversation with HRC writer Wendy Grace Evans, Paul talks about this new venture into reciprocity, friendship and housing retention. In 2009, the HRC featured an article about another one of Father Paul’s project’s, The Third Place.

Currently New City Initiative is linked with JOIN, our umbrella organization. JOIN exists to support the efforts of homeless individuals and families to transition out of homelessness into permanent housing. It has been a key to our success. JOIN houses 500 people a year. We find the essential component to retention is engaging people in the community, getting them out and getting them engaged in the arts and music. People from JOIN who are engaged in these activities have an 85 percent housing retention rate. We are also expanding to other non-profit partners who don’t have as robust a retention model.

The Collins Foundation has recently awarded the New City Initiative a three-year grant to help support what appears to be our next step. Our next step is to move forward as our own non-profit with a mission to engage faith communities in ending homelessness.

There are probably five thousand people who sleep outside every night in Portland, Oregon. The count is three thousand, but we all know the real number is higher. There are over five hundred congregations. We are asking congregations to develop a relationship and make friends with ten people who are already engaged in the process of moving towards stability.

The congregations can make a big difference. It’s a lot to ask, ‘can you house ten people?’ But people say, “sure we can make friends with ten people.” It becomes transformative for everyone. In the course of this we have discovered congregations are good at many things.

We have developed a curriculum to help congregations identify their own skills and gifts. It is a six-week study group. Fifteen have gone through it, and most have gone on in their own ways to make friends with people who have been formerly homeless.

Currently we have engaged with thirty-four congregations. Twelve have developed community-building projects, one of which is knitting with formerly homeless women. One has a yoga program for people who are formerly homeless, and there is another that is doing glass artwork with people. There are such a variety of ways to welcome people who have experienced homelessness and to help people be socially connected in meaningful ways.

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Paul Appleby: I Played Like Breathing

by Wendy Grace Evans
July 25, 2011

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Paul Appleby, a Licensed Substance Abuse Counselor from Tucson, Arizona shares his thoughts about aspects of his life, self-care, his parents, losing himself and getting started again in recovery with the HRC’s Wendy Grace Evans. In his own words, he reflects on his journey.

I came from a family of nine and was raised in the sixties. I was always exploring life from a different perspective, asking questions and never getting any answers. I watched people around me and did not want to grow up because the world seemed so crazy. My mind worked in a way that didn’t seem to work the same as people my age. I tried to escape it. I felt odd even in my own family. What gave me a sense of reality was sports. My father was a funny, but very serious man and conscientious about his family. He introduced me to baseball. I had never seen him play, but those that did said he was great. He had seen his own father hung to death, but baseball became our relationship and I ate, slept, and drank baseball. At twelve I was throwing 80 mile an hour pitches. I played like breathing. My father worked three jobs.

I was young when my father died of black lung disease, heart disease, and diabetes. He dwindled from this opposing figure to nothing and my mother would literally pick him up. During this time she developed cancer and died shortly after my father. I was taking her back and forth to the hospital, but I still had a mom. She would tell me about my gift, but she would tell me that she was dying and dying to be with my father. I wondered if I was not important enough to live for. When she died, that was the thought that permeated my mind. And there were no answers.

I quit playing baseball and turned to basketball, leaving my hometown of Cleveland, Ohio, for Central Arizona Community College and eventually the University of San Diego on a basketball scholarship. Unfortunately, I fractured both kneecaps and lost my scholarship, as well as an opportunity to play professional ball. These losses, including the death of both of my parents, propelled me into drugs and alcohol. This took the shape of 12 years of addiction, including eight years on crack, two years of homelessness, sleeping on the streets, in parks, and under bridges in two states.

The pain of my parents’ death became something I sought out once I was tied to them as a victim in my own memory. I selected self-destruction, developing defense mechanisms to protect myself from feeling emotion. Eventually I would pride myself as someone who had no emotions until I entered into recovery.

For me, living in recovery is going to the mountains, praying, getting together with friends for relaxation, going to meetings and staying focused. I really have to pay attention and be grateful for being clean and sober. My work life can bleed into my personal life. I focus on trust because no one wants to live in a self imposed shelter, or box of fear. I ask the question “Who is really living in recovery?” I don’t forget what it was like to be homeless, doing drugs, and feeling so badly about who I was, when I know that today I have been given the chance to start a recovery program to help other people. Today I have been in recovery for 17 years. I like to say that I have “flipped the script.” I am a Licensed Substance Abuse Counselor so that I can help others as I have been helped with a “Yes, I can” attitude.

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One Size Does Not Fit All: Lessons Learned in Baltimore, MD

by Laura Winn
July 06, 2011

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A couple weeks ago I attended a SAMHSA workgroup meeting for programs offering sober housing and treatment options for women experiencing homelessness. The workgroup began as a technical assistance (TA) request from Lori Criss of Amethyst Programs, a program in Columbus, Ohio. Amethyst offers integrated sober housing and treatment to women experiencing homelessness and substance use issues. Amethyst staff have sometimes felt isolated because this integrated approach is a unique model in their community. Lori knew that there was interest among other programs across the country, and was seeking an opportunity to begin this dialogue on a national level.

In response, SAMHSA’s Homelessness Resource Center helped to convene a workgroup of similar programs, along with SAMHSA’s Women, Children, and Families TA Center. With such a strong national focus on Housing First, sober living models often struggle to find their place. Programs find themselves straddling a divide between housing and addictions treatment. Some identify primarily as housing providers, some as treatment providers, and others as both, adding to the difficulty of seeking funding in various continuums of care. However, sober housing can be a tremendously beneficial model for women with children, trauma histories, and safety concerns.

Based on the clear desire of workgroup members to connect in person and further define key elements of this integrated model, SAMHSA convened a meeting in Baltimore, MD. Sixteen representatives of sober housing and treatment programs for women attended. The group shared their program designs, discussed what works (and what doesn’t), and explored commonalities, challenges, and promising strategies.

Having worked in this field for a year and half, it has become clear that there are no one-size-fits-all models for individuals experiencing homelessness, substance use disorders, or mental health issues. However, I’ve never seen this so clearly illustrated as I did at the workgroup meeting. Not only were providers recognizing a need for alternatives to Housing First for some individuals and families, but they were also highlighting differences among their own gender-specific sober housing models. For some women, being allowed to live with their children and within a community is an important step toward recovery. This demanded more restrictive relapse policies, in recognition of the safety and recovery of children and other families. For others, living independently, becoming economically stable, and thriving in healthy relationships is central to success.

Programs differed on drug testing policies, services for fathers and children, relapse policies, and approaches to treatment. However, it was clear that these programs were each finding success with their participants. I spend a lot of my time trying to understand what works in homeless services. Through the process, I sometimes forget that there are many paths to success. Flexibility to respond to the needs of consumers is essential.

I was inspired by the providers I met in Baltimore. They were committed to finding the best individualized options for women. These providers, many of whom were in recovery themselves, exemplified that fact that one-size-fits-all is not always possible – or necessary – when working with individuals and families.

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Category: HRC Insight | HRC Insight

Rachel's Story

by Wayne Centrone
June 22, 2011

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Sometimes the most important lessons—the kinds of lessons that have lasting effect on one’s attitude or outlook—occur in the most unlikely of situations. I recently recalled a patient I had the good fortune of working with a number of years ago, while I was still in clinical practice.

I had a busy morning in clinic that day. The schedule did not leave a spare moment for reflection. After a working lunch, I planned to catch up on phone calls and e-mail correspondence. Around 2 p.m., a young woman came to the clinic. She really made me think twice about all the “business” in my life.

Rachel (not her real name) was a 16-year old suffering from a heroin addiction. She wanted help with her third attempt at drug detoxification. What made Rachel so unique to me (keep in mind that I worked for a number of years in very close proximity to a needle exchange program and thus saw many intravenous drug use patients) was the fact that she came to the clinic with her parents. Mr. and Mrs. Smith (again, not their real names) were anything but “typical” patrons at my clinic. They were both in professional careers, lived an upper-middle class lifestyle, and never thought they would find themselves sitting in a community healthcare center. However, they expressed their commitment to Rachel and wanted to help in any way possible.

It is important to mention that injection drug users do not fit a particular profile. Sure, we can stereotype them to the “skid row” image of Hollywood, but there really is no “one size fits all” addict. I saw injection drug users come into the clinic fresh off the streets, and I saw some come straight from their offices. The single caveat that holds them all together is their powerlessness over a drug that has the potential to destroy their lives.

Rachel started using drugs when she was a 13-year old. She never saw herself becoming an addict. It just seemed to happen. Previous attempts at detox and sobriety had all come to naught. Strung out as a 16-year old, her face held the sort of sorrow that one would expect to see on someone many years her senior. Rachel was the victim of a life that she never envisioned nor desired. She was angry and scared. Most of all, she needed help.

I now know that one does not need to be a great thinker or renowned scientist to make a difference in the world. Rachel did not need a marvel of modern medicine. She did not want someone to lecture her about the “deleterious” effects of injection drug use. She really only wanted to get well.

Acute early detox-related treatment for injection drug use is not standardized. Earlier that day, Rachel and her family tried to see their family doctor. That doctor told them not to come, because she would not treat Rachel. They tried going to a doctor recommended by a friend, but again the services they requested were not available. Finally, in desperation, Mrs. Smith phoned the needle exchange program at our clinic. She heard that we had limited resources. She said she wanted to come in anyway.

What Rachel and her family needed was someone who would listen to their concerns, and show them that they were not alone. What they wanted from me was a listening ear and a concerned advocate.

What I learned from this remarkably strong family was that I make a difference just by being present to the suffering of another person. I learned that the “little things” (a smile, the gentle touch of a caring hand, an open heart) comfort the biggest of worries and sorrows. I learned that taking time to care about another means that I need to be present to suffering. Most of all, I learned that life’s most significant lessons come in the most unlikely of ways.

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Patty Wuddell on Bearing Witness

by Wendy Grace Evans
June 06, 2011

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Patty Wudell is the Executive Director of Joseph’s House. in Washington, DC. Here, people who are formerly homeless and dying of HIV/AIDS can come to live and receive compassionate care. Patty spoke with HRC writer Wendy Grace Evans to share reflections on her work at Joseph’s House.

Here at Joseph’s House we have had a heartbreaking—more than heartbreaking, a life changing—experience. About a year ago, a 21 year old woman came to us for respite care. We welcomed her. Her name is Melissa (not her real name). She had advanced AIDS, and was expected to die. She had a three year old and a two year old. She was so very sick and so deeply and profoundly full of anguish and depression, and then she became well. She was here at Joseph’s House for five months. Little by little she started to eat and put on weight. Once she started feeling better, she was willing to take HIV/AIDS medications. She got even stronger. Her children came to stay with her, even overnight. She never thrived, but she got well enough to go home.

For her, home was not a homeless shelter. It could have been; there were so many people living in her mother’s apartment. She and her children had a mattress on the living room floor. There were so many people living there with incredible needs, so much anguish. Her brother and sister had been convicted of killing another sister’s boyfriend and were also living there. The young woman stayed in touch with us. We heard she was in the hospital again, but by the time we arrived she had already checked herself out. Then, four weeks ago she was referred to us for hospice care again. So now she is 22 years old and dying.

Last night at our dinner table, we spent time with this courageous young woman, her great grandmother who is 93, her grandmother, her mother, her children, their father, sisters, cousins, and their babies. Joseph’s House was full of people who really love her and are doing the very best they can. The first time she was with us, we didn’t know her family. Now her family has been here sleeping overnight, in her room, and on couches in the living room. We feed everyone all the time. What I find so moving is that when she first came back to us, I just felt rage—rage at AIDS and poverty, rage at these social issues. But I found that my rage just didn’t feel quite right. It distanced me from Melissa.

I didn’t want that, so I found myself sitting with this little girl and holding her kids on my lap and talking to generations of women who have never had any material security, and yet, they have each other. They have resilience, and they do more than the best they can. They really say yes to each other. I don’t have rage anymore; I have love. I have admiration, sadness, humility, and gratitude to have the chance to have some actual time with these women, time at the table. My first impression of Melissa was that she was isolated and she was. But my initial impression that she wasn’t loved was misinformed. Now, it’s both much sadder and much better to know about the love in her family that has been here since she contracted AIDS as a child. There is more love than anything else. We are part of that love, too. It is moving to be a part of the support for our young volunteers who are Melissa’s age. How do you support them? Well…we do.

This past weekend we anticipated that she might die. I was on call. Our nurse practitioner, Priscilla had a wedding across the country and she called to talk to Melissa’s mother and grandmother. What really moved me is that she happened to call at mealtime. Melissa’s mother said to us, “I cannot believe the love that is here. It doesn’t matter what shift or who is working, there is always love here.”

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Category: HRC Insight